New Zealand Update #5

Hey guys!

Greetings from Taupo, New Zealand. It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to sit down and write out a full blog. I’ve been too busy romping my way through the north island to sit down and do anything more than upload a few videos and eat these chocolate filled measly bar things.

The Muffin Man!

But, if you happen to enjoy my videos, then no need to worry, as I have a few more treats coming down the pipeline for you guys! After I left Endeavour Resort (top of the south island) a week ago, I crossed the Cook Straight, and headed right into the super-duper windy city of Wellington. Wellington is actually a pretty cool city! I’m even gonna go out on a wire here and say that I like it SLIGHTLY better than Auckland. Definitely worth your time if you’re in the area! Wellington also happens to be the southern most capitol city in the world. So if you’re wanting to get big city vibes, but also be isolated beyond all measurable hell, then this city has your name on it.


While there are quite a few cool things in Wellington that I could sit here and write about (like the parliament buildings, the pier, and excellent shopping malls), I instead decided to show you guys a picture of the LARGEST SQUID IN THE WORLD. I mean, look at this f*cker!

10,000 Leagues of Death.

They found him (or her, I think) off the coast of Antarctica, south of New Zealand. The fisherman actually caught this beast by mistake. The line was tightening pretty hard, so the fishing crew thought they had filled up every hook at the same time (unlikely, but possible, right?) and started reeling the line in, only to find this fatass on the other end. It took them a little over 2 hours to get “it” into the boat. Of course, it died a short time later, and they sent it to scientists who preserved it. After studying it extensively, they donated it to the Wellington Museum, which is where “it” has been on display ever since.

Anywho! After Wellington, I headed up north to the stupidly gorgeous town of Napier. Although a small town, it sits right on the edge of Hawke’s Bay, on the eastern edge of the north island. The weather was perfect! The town had plenty of nice warm beaches, shopping centers, hiking trails, and unique restaurants to check out. Even though there was plenty to do, I ended up spending the majority of the time at the beach.

Beach Comber.

Napier is also home to this “Millennium Sundial” thingy. Basically, when the sun rose on January 1st, 2000, they carved a line in the concrete below the metal disk. At the bottom of the disk is another carved line. If you stand back and match the two lines up, you’ll see exactly where at on the horizon the sun rose that day. Pretty cool stuff! To the locals, it’s a token of the start of the 3rd millennium, and the start to a fresh, positive way of life.

The sun went that way!

After Napier, I headed northwest to the little town of Taupo, which of course is famous for Lake Taupo. If you haven’t seen my parasailing video yet (which describes a brief history of the lake) you can check it out here. Taupo was great! Same type of scenario as Napier; great little town with plenty of shopping, dining, and a nice warm beach. Only this time, the beach is to a dormant volcanic lake instead of the Pacific Ocean. But who cares, right?

Crater Lake Taupo.

There’s plenty of leisurely activities to do in town. I only had enough time to do the trails and parasailing, but there’s enough to keep you busy for a few days. There’s even a spot where you can play golf out into the lake! It’s a “hole-in-one” challenge. If you’re able to get a hole in one within the allotted ball count you’re given, you win a pretty cool prize.

Feeling lucky, bro?

So what’s the prize? What could POSSIBLY be worth my time trying to get a hole in one out on the lake? How about a cool $10,000 dollars? Sound good? Oh, and bragging rights, of course. You could brag about that to anyone. In fact, you could brag about that to this little (or big, rather) fellow. His name is Billy, and he’s a pissed off black swan. Don’t get too close to these dudes. They’ll mess you up!

Get out of my shot, Billy!

Anyways, that’s all I got for this one. I’m on the final stretch of the trip now. I’ll be heading to Rotorua next, before meandering my way back up to Auckland for my flight home. Of course, I’m not hopping on that plane until I pass through the almighty HOBBITON for a quick look or two. Small feet and quick wits, inbound! 

Tango on the beach.

Until next time, stay frosty. 

 – Phantom Out.

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